tired

I am tired, I feel tired. beautiful words that have been twisted into lies. such things should not be contaminated, but to my dismay they have been.
I have been blatantly lied to, used, hurt, threatened, and betrayed. I said to myself, 'it's alright.' I told them, 'it's alright.' I don't know if they were sorry. I could be wrong but,well, I don't think they were. I don't think they care at all. but I told myself 'it's alright.' maybe I was just thrown aside as quickly as possible, and every moment of trying to explain with lies was dragging on and was just a waste of time. I don't think they cared much when I said 'it's alright.'
but to me, I still think let it be. For is not forgiveness divine? not saying I'm divine, far from that. but we all strive to be kind don't we? don't we all strive to be more like how our God wants us to be? and do I not say 'forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us'? I am holding myself to that. I don't know what this is. I don't think I am the same person I was a few months ago. such expriences change us I suppose. I don't know if this could be called strength, maybe it is.
but whatever strength I have, it was bestowed upon me by my Lord. I could not have borne all this on my own and I am thankful.