determination

I have to admit, I'm scared.
I wonder if there's something wrong with my brain, cause I can't pick up what the teachers are saying when they talk fast. I'm scared because I don't really understand. I don't like not understanding. so this means, I gotta work harder. ok. work harder. work.
or maybe I'm disturbed because I keep dreaming that I get shot or that arrows get shot into my chest. or that knives are being thrown at me.